Hey Circle!

Welcome to this month’s member-exclusive episode.

In it, I’m getting a little philosophical with you.

I want to introduce you to the concept of the Circle of Control (also known as the Sphere of Control).

The diagram below gives you a basic idea.

In this episode I outline what the 3 circles are, and how spending too much time in the wrong ones can lead to overwhelm, exhaustion, and even… giving up.

I reference a past workshop in this episode: How to Challenge Negative Self-Talk and a Lack of Confidence.

If you’ve ever felt worried or stressed by things that are actually outside of your control (hint: that’s pretty much everything you’ve ever worried or stressed about) then this episode is for you. 

This month, my challenge to you is: when things start to worry you, categorise them. Which circle do they belong in? How much actual influence or control do you have over them? What CAN you actually do… and what do you need to let go of?

Our hashtag for discussion in the FB group is: #CircleofControl

Quotes & Highlights

• Concept From 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
• This has a lot in common with both stoic philosophy and buddhist philosophy.
• From Epicitus: “Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.”
• Buddhism teaches that we need to cultivate mindfulness – to recognise the gap between our thoughts and our consciousness. That we don’t control our thoughts, or the world around us, so we must cultivate a mind-state that can cope with this and avoid suffering due to external circumstances.
• What can we control?
• How we respond to our thoughts
• How we respond to stimuli
• Our actions
• Of course, we don’t even have complete control over these, because we are influenced by our habits, our society, and our education.
• What can we influence?
• Our health
• Our happiness
• Our relationships
• What is in our circle of concern
• Health of family members
• Global economy and climate
• War overseas
• Weather
• However, what you can actually DO about these things is in your circle of influence. You can recycle, you can donate to causes, you can try to help and educate your family on their health.
• You cannot control a customer’s reaction or opinion of you. But you can influence it.
• You cannot control your thoughts about your business or self, but you can influence them and try to direct them in a different direction in future through things like exercise (spark), meditation and mindfulness, affirmations etc.
• You cannot control how many people respond to an ad, but you can influence it by good use of images, copy, and targeting.
• You cannot control how many people buy from you, but you can influence it by good photography, copy, titles, seo, marketing etc.
• Do you spend too much time in the ‘circle of concern’ rather than the circles of influence and control? If you feel overwhelmed about things that are out of your control – probably.
• We have finite energy. If you are stretched too thin because you are always worrying about things that are outside of your control and influence, you won’t have energy for those things that are.